Heres the thing successful people focus on

Heres the thing successful people focus onHeres the thing successful people focus onThe way to measure your progress is backward against where you started, bedrngnis against your ideal. - Dan Sullivan, THE GAIN AND THE GAPFollow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moraKey concepts to understand in this article that will be exploredYour ideals and your goals are two separate thingsIdeals are general and immeasurableIdeals are constantly changing and moving as you change and move as a personYour ideals should not be your benchmark for achievementInstead, your ideals should be the source from which you create your specific, challenging, time-bound, and measurable goalsMoreover, your ideals are intended to produce positive emotions such as excitement and anticipation - but these emotions are not what youre trying to replicate in the future (most people get this wrong and it creates a great deal o f unhappiness)The emotions you want in the future relative to this ideal are happiness, satisfaction, and confidence that come from achieving your goalsIf you measure your current-self against your ideal, youll never be happy because there will always be a gapIf you measure your current-self against your previous-self - where you were when you set your goals (and even before) - youll experience happiness, satisfaction, and confidenceIf your goals are not specific, theyll be hard to measure (which is one reason you shouldnt measure yourself against your ideals, because your ideals are general)If you dont have a specific measurement criteria, you wont experience the joy of the progress youve madeOnce you hit your goals and have taken the time to adequately measure where you are, you should set new ideals and re-experience the excitement, anticipation, and motivation that comes from pursuing new adventures and growthIf youre not making progress, you cant feel happyIf you dont feel ha ppy, your brain will be less adaptive and less effective toward future endeavorsIf youre not making progress, you cant feel confident - because confidence is a byproduct of prior successIf you dont regularly take the time to review your progress, youll never appreciate the small details, which will rob you of the experience and of all the benefits of gratitudeIf you fail to appreciate where you are, youre missing out on the benefits of mindfulness as well, which can lead you to pursuing the wrong goals and missing the small moments along the wayWhen you set and measure your goals in this unique way, you get the benefit of deeply experiencing all of the positive and energizing emotions that will allow you to become increasingly successfulWith this foundation in place, we will further dial-down the process and also detail the science behind why this process is so brilliant.Heres the thing most people have a negative relationship with goal-setting. Theres a lot of emotional baggage as sociated with the concept.Looking for an inspiring way to start your day? Sign up forMorning MotivationIts our friendly Facebook robot that will send you a quick note every weekday morning to help you start strong. Sign up here by clicking Get StartedOne group of people may believe they should be happy just the way they are. Another group is constantly striving for mora and are never quite happy with what theyve achieved.Both of these approaches to goals are ineffective because neither can produce actual joy and happiness.If youre not growing and changing, youre not happy. Research is clear that as people, we are happiest when we are improving. Self-acceptance is important, but self-acceptance is also intended to be a vehicle for positive growth, not for staying stagnant and justifying mediocrity. Moreover, you cant have hope for the future if you dont believe you can change. Trying to force yourself to remain the same stunts hope and happiness.If youre growing but constantly measur ing where you are against your ideal, youll never get there. This will lead you to always feeling dissatisfied with yourself, which isnt helpful to your future goals and it robs you of the joy of the distance youve made. When you rob yourself of the joy of measuring how far youve come, you dont experience happiness, gratitude, or confidence. And when you dont experience these, you actually set lower and less clear goals. Put simply, when you take the time to reflect and measure how far youve come, youll set clearer and more powerful goals, because those goals will be set from a place of confidence, happiness, and gratitude. Theyll also be set from a place of tangible measurement, not abstract idealization.The gemeinsame agrarpolitik vs. The Gain How happy, motivated, and successful people approach their goalsYour future growth and progress are now based in your understanding about the difference between the two ways in which you can measure yourself against the ideal, which puts you in what I call The Gap, and against your starting point, which puts you in The Gain, appreciating all that youve accomplished.When youre in The Gap, you feel as though you havent accomplished anything at all. This is because even though youve moved forward, the ideal remains distant from you. The ideal is a moving target. It might even get bigger, leaving you worse off than where you started if you measure against it. Youve also used up time and energy getting to where you are, so if you dont measure the progress, youll feel like youve wasted that time and energy and have fallen even further behind.But if you turn around and measure your progress against where you started, then youre in The Gain, and youll experience a sense of having moved forward, of having achieved something, and youll be motivated to continue on to your next stage of growth.- Dan SullivanHere are two definitions of idealsatisfying ones conception of what is perfect most suitableexisting only in the vorstellungs vermgen desirable or perfect but not likely to become a realityHere are two definitions of goalthe object of a persons ambition or effort an aim or desired resulta specific, measurable, and time-bound outcome or experience a person is seekingOnce youve made tangible progress on your goals, its important to measure, track, and report your progress. That progress should clearly be measured against where you were when you set your targets, not against some vague imagination.Creating your vision and experiencing the excitement and anticipationSome adults try not to engage in make-believe anymore because they think its childish, but I dont think we ever really outgrow it. In fact, I think that make-believe is the basis for all our motivations in life. - Dan SullivanChildren are generally considered more imaginative and creative than adults. This isnt actually true.The ability to imagine and fantasize about the future never actually goes away. Some adults constrain themselves from indulgi ng too deeply into their fantasies, because the positive emotions related to those fantasies are quickly shattered by the pain of their reality. Or, theyve experienced the disappointment that comes from achieving goals and not feeling satisfied.Indeed, people adapt quickly and if the target for happiness is always moving and in the future, its impossible to reach. Hence, those powerful and positive emotions end up being reframed in the memory as negative, which creates a negative association between goals and happiness in people. Thus, people stop setting goals and develop a personality of being comfortable where they are - and never truly happy.Again, it doesnt have to be this way. This process Dan Sullivan has created allows you the playfulness, the excitement, and the motivation involved in creating ideals and dreams for your future.Lots of science has found play to be extremely important for productivity and creativity. As Greg McKeown explains, Very successful people see play as essential for creativity.In his rocknroller talk, Stuart Brown said, Play leads to brain plasticity, adaptability, and creativity Nothing fires up the brain like play. There is a burgeoning body of literature highlighting the extensive cognitive and social benefits of play, includingCognitiveEnhanced memory and focusImproved language learning skillsCreative problem solvingImproved mathematics skillsIncreased ability to self-regulate, an essential component of motivation and goal achievementSocialCooperationTeam workConflict resolutionLeadership skill developmentControl of impulses and aggressive behaviorOne of the core learning styles is imagining, and its something that few people allow themselves to do enough. Imagining and fantasizing are learned skills, which can also be like muscles that atrophy. If you dont develop these muscles, youll lack the creativity and excitement of pursuing crazy dreams and ideals. Youll grow-up as they say and settle for reality as society and the norms around you have deemed-it.Instead of such a bleak and uninspiring existence, you want to spend a great deal of time fantasizing about your future. You want to dream big and dream creatively. You want it to be fun and playful. Set no boundaries on your ideals and what you imagine.The more immersive you can get into what Dan Sullivan calls, Make-believing, which is creating a make-believe future or ideal, the better. You want to experience all of the excitement, anticipation, and motivation that comes out of that possible future. These emotions drive you forward. But again, they arent the emotions youll experience when you get to your intended goal.Your future should be big, fun, and playful. In in Sullivans words, Your future should always be bigger than your past.The more playful the imagining, and the more immersive, clear, and specific you get about that imagining, the more creative and powerful will be the goals that you set to strive for that ideal.However, its important t o realize a few thingsthis ideal that you are forming is always changingonce you reach a destination, your ideals and fantasies will changethese dreams and ideals are the direction for guiding and creating tangible goals to move towardif you constantly measure yourself against your ideals, youll be living in what Dan Sullivan calls, The Gap, which will create feelings of unhappiness and disatisfactioninstead of measuring yourself against your ideals, happiness and satisfaction come by measuring yourself against where you were when you formulated the ideals and set the tangible goalswhen you measure yourself against where you were, you live in what Dan Sullivan calls, The Gain, which helps you realize and appreciate how far youve comeAccording to psychological research, the anticipation of an fest is almost always more powerful than the event itself. Both positive and negative events are generally more emotionally-charged in your head than the actual experience ends up being.Very qui ckly, we adapt to our new experience and the event itself is underwhelming compared to how we imagined it to be.Because we adapt so quickly, its easy to take for granted where we currently are. Moreover, because our ideals and dreams are like a horizon which is constantly moving - we never reach our ideals. The horizon always moves, no matter where you are. Its the direction, not the destination.This is what creates feelings of unhappiness and dissatisfaction. We quickly adapt to where we currently are and our ideals are always out of reach. This is living in The Gap.We mistakenly believe that our experience once we hit our goals should be the playful and exciting emotions we had when we were imagining the goal. This is not the case.The playful and joyful experiences of imagining our dreams and ideals are not the experiences we are to have in the future. We have those experiences to draw us forward. Actually, when you expect these same emotions to be what youll experience when you get there, you downplay their importance. These emotions are both a means to an end, and an end in themselves.They are a means to the end of allowing you to create highly specific goals which lead to growth and happiness. But they are an end in themselves because the playful anticipation and excitement of ideals is a beautiful part of life. Dont downplay these emotions. Allow them to be what they are. You get to experience them again and again as you continue to expand your horizon and dreams.Once youve developed that horizon, you then need to set tangible, measurable, challenging, and time-bound goals to move toward that horizon.Set measurable and highly specific goalsSpecifics must be measured against specifics. Trying to measure a specific against a generality is not real measurement. Setting up a goal of making $10 million is specific, and youll feel successful once youve done that by measuring from there back to where you started. But if you have the imprecise goal of being wea lthy, thats a generality. You may never feel like youve achieved it, and even if you do feel as though you have, this feeling wont last because its not grounded in specific reality. The goal - being wealthy - will continue to change and always seem out of reach. - Dan SullivanIf your goals are not specific and measurable, then you wont be able to measure your progress. If you cant clearly discern the progress youre makingyou wont know where you actually areyou wont experience the joy, gratitude, and confidence of growthif you dont enjoy the gratitude and confidence of growth, you wont operate as well in the future and you wont set bigger targets to strive forThus, when you dont set clear targets and measure yourself against what youve gained, then you cheat yourself out of your past, present, and future.you cheat yourself out of your past because you never take the time to appreciate and measure against ityou cheat yourself out of your present because without measurement, you neve r know where you truly areyou cheat yourself out of your future because without happiness, gratitude, and confidence, you wont imagine and create more compelling ideals and goalsPsychological benefits of measuring your progress against where you wereAccording to the research of Harvard psychologist, Shawn Achor, happiness is the secret to success.Being happy allows you to work more effectively. It allows you to embrace your experiences more fully. It allows you to be far more open to feedback. Happiness is a powerful way to create high performance. Even my 10-year old son is realizing this when he practices the piano. Unfortunately, its hard to be happy if youre living in The Gap.Not only will you be happier if you measure yourself against The Gain, youll be more confident. Research has shown, confidence is the byproduct of past-performance. So when you take the time to live in The Gain, your confidence can increase, which will allow you the ability to set bigger and more imaginativ e goals.It will also give you the clarity to create better plans, which according to research will give you more hope and expectancy in your future that youll achieve those goals.According to psychologys Hope Theory, hope reflects your perceptions regarding your capacity toclearly conceptualize goalsdevelop the specific strategies to reach those goals (i.e., pathways thinking)initiate and sustain the motivation for using those strategies (i.e., agency thinking)Hope is a byproduct of confidence, which is a byproduct of past success. Thus, as you set clear and measurable goals, and measure your progress against the Gain, youll recognize the changes and progress you make. This will give you both confidence and hope - which will allow you to set bigger ideals and dreams in the future, and to make better plans and strategies for achieving those goals.This is how you increase in your motivation overtime. According to one of the core theories of motivation - known as Expectancy Theory - motivation involves three componentsthe value you place on your goalyour belief that specific behaviors will actually facilitate the outcomesyou desireyour belief in your own ability to successfully execute the behaviors requisite to achieving your goalsAs your happiness, confidence, and hope increase, your motivation will increase. This motivation comes because you expect to achieve your goals and you highly value those goals. As you become more confidence as a person, youll stop setting goals that society has placed on you.Your goals will come from inside and be uninhibited by the standards and expectations of those around you. Instead, youll purposefully surround yourself with better mentors, teachers, and collaborators, which will allow your dreams and ideals to expand far beyond what you could conjure-up on your own. Psychologists call this The Transforming-Self, and its the highest level of conscious evolution.Youre constantly seeing yourself improve. Youre grateful and appre ciate that progress. You spend just as much time soaking-in the Gains and you do imagining and indulging in the dreams. You then use your gains and the confidence youve built to get back to the playful and fantasizing process of imagining new idealsOne other potent psychological benefit of measuring The Gain is gratitude, which has nearly unlimited benefits to well-being, happiness, and high performance. Gratitude may be the most important key to success. It has been called the mother of all virtues. According to Sullivan, growth and gratitude go hand-in-hand. Yet, those who only focus on The Gap rob themselves of much of the benefits of gratitude.Gratitude journaling is a scientifically proven way to overcome several psychological challenges. The benefits are seemingly endless. Here are just a fewGratitude makes you happierGratitude makes other people like youGratitude makes you healthierGratitude boosts your careerGratitude strengthens your emotionsGratitude develops your personal ityGratitude makes you more optimisticGratitude reduces materialismGratitude increases spiritualityGratitude makes you less self-centeredGratitude increases your self-esteemGratitude improves your sleepGratitude keeps you away from the doctor by strengthening physiological functioningGratitude lets you live longerGratitude increases your energy levelsGratitude makes you more likely to exerciseGratitude helps you bounce back from challengesGratitude makes you feel goodGratitude makes your memories happier (think of Pixars Inside Out)Gratitude reduces feelings of envyGratitude helps you relaxGratitude makes you friendlierGratitude helps your marriageGratitude makes you look goodGratitude deepens your friendshipsGratitude makes you a more effective managerGratitude helps you networkGratitude increases your goal achievementGratitude improves your decision makingGratitude increases your productivityIts a beautiful process and it allows you to experience ALL of the powerful emotions along the way.The importance of keeping a record of your goalsIf youre achievement-oriented, you probably write down your goals and you probably achieve a great deal of them. However, its powerful and important to regularly go back and examine your previous goals.Even if it was just the goals set for the previous 30 days. Its insane how many of our targets we hit without appreciating it because our targets and ideals are continually moving.I recently looked back at my goals from the previous 30 days and realized Id achieved something Ive wanted to accomplish for almost 4 years.I hit a major milestone and didnt even realize or appreciate it because my mind quickly moved to the next ideal. Which isnt necessarily a bad thing for setting new targets, but it also robs me of seeing how far Ive come.Moreover, when you immediately move from achievement to visualization without taking the time to regularly measure how far youve come - you rob yourself of the satisfaction, happiness, and CONFIDEN CE of accomplishment.Yes, all of these things can be subconscious - your happiness, satisfaction, and confidence. But you can compound the experience by making them conscious. By actually indulging in the moment and truly appreciating where you currently are vs. where you were when you set your goals. You then get all the benefits of the past, which allow you to create a more compelling future.Youre probably living your dreams right nowWhen you measure yourself against The Gain, you often realize that youre currently living your dreams right now. Where you are right now may be far beyond the ideals you had even one or two years ago. Yet, youve probably adapted to your current reality and are now striving for newer and bigger ideals.But if you take the time to examine your previous goals, you often realize that your current reality is beyond the wildest dreams of your past. Indeed, your current reality has become your new normal even though it may have been completely unimaginable t o your previous-self.WowThe daily experiences youre currently having are the IDEALS of your past-self just a few short years agoAppreciate that fact.Allow that fact to create more confidence to set bigger and bigger ideals and clearer and more tangible goalsThis is a beautiful and rare processEnjoy it. Soak it upReady to upgrade?Ive created a cheat sheet for putting yourself into a PEAK-STATE, immediately. You follow this daily, your life will change very quickly.Get the cheat sheet hereThis article firstappeared on Medium.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people